Waiting on a van!

Have you ever been so excited by the arrival of something that you can't sit still, you can't eat anything and you feel like you're gonna burst? Well, I'm pretty sure that is exactly how my little boy is feeling right now.

It's his birthday today, and it's a biggy – he's seven. Granted, it's no five or ten, but to him it is "the most specialest birthday ever" because he's getting his first games console of his very own. Now he's shared his big brother's PlayStation for some time now, but what he wanted was an Xbox, so for his seventh birthday, me and his mum are making his dreams come true.

It's not a surprise – he knows he's getting it – he even helped us choose the games package, but we specially booked the delivery to come on his actual birthday and now he's hopping all over the place, just waiting for it to arrive.

We know which courier service is being used, so we should be able to spot the van as it comes down the street. We're comparing all the trucks that drive past and we've made a tally chart of all the different colours, but so far, no brown ones.

It's a hard life being, almost, a seven-year-old and when the best thing ever is still on the back of a van, well it can be a bit frustrating.

Still, it's nearly four o'clock now, and I'm sure the delivery will be here soon. Then all I'll have to do is set the whole kit and caboodle up – now, where's the older brother when you need him.

Tips for Car Insurance for Women

When it comes to individuals who are looking for affordable van insurance, women have the advantages over men. Women can usually get insurance policies for a lower price. Below are more details.
Most van insurance companies have special policies for female drivers. This is mainly due to the difference between men and women’s driving habits. Aside from the fact that driving was once an exclusive activity to men, statistics have shown that more male drivers were involved in road accidents. This somehow stems from their confidence on getting behind the wheel. Statistics showed that more than half of individuals who drive in the United States are male. Some women who own a car have drivers. Some even prefer car rentals because of the tedious maintenance required when owning a car.
There are only a few female drivers giving the insurance companies a few target female market. The low prices of car insurance can be explained by the Economics’ supply and demand model. With a low demand, the prices are lower.
Aside from the numbers of women who have the courage to go behind the wheel, most people will agree that men are known for their adventurous nature. They love to drive fast especially in highways. Some of them even turn roads into race tracks at night without thinking of what can happen. You can check the records for speeding tickets just to find that more than 95% were received by male drivers. The car insurance companies believe that women are more cautious in many activities including driving. They are less likely to drive fast and violate traffic laws.
In addition, the type of van you own and drive affects your car insurance premiums. Most men will choose to go for the fast cars while women would settle to anything that’s comfortable and easy to drive. The car insurance companies never kept it secret: the more expensive, the bigger and the faster your car is, the higher your premium will be. The expensive cars are, well, expensive to have repaired. Big cars that are usually preferred by men normally cause bigger damages.
You may think that the car insurance companies are sexist. However, that’s how they will operate because women drivers do not pose a lot of expenses for them based on statistics. However, this is starting to lose integrity because there is an increase in aggressive driving by females since 2003.
You may not want to admit it but there are definitely some differences between the two sexes especially when it comes to driving. Both men and women can learn how to drive but they will develop differently with most of men drivers being adventurous while women stay cautious. Luckily for women, the car insurance companies have realized it. The result is low premiums for women drivers. If you are a woman and will look for car insurance, make sure to check the companies’ special insurance programs for women. You can surely save lots of dollars and your father, brother, boyfriend or husband would be jealous to see how cheaper your van insurance is compared to theirs.

Van drivers! Ha!

All my life I've had to endure my parents making endless comparisons between my brother and me. While he's gone on to become a road traffic policeman, I'm still driving a Citroen van, which, although not exactly a career for my mum to tell the neighbours about, isn't actually that bad.

I've never once heard either of my parents refer to my job in front of their friends, whereas my brother Andrew gets endless plaudits.

"Tell Doreen, Andrew, about that time you pulled over a man for speeding but let him off because his wife was having a baby."

"Ahh, that's nice of you Andrew, you were always such a lovely boy," says Doreen.

"But, no, wait, here's the really good bit," my Mum says. "Andrew pulled the same bloke over 10 minutes later speeding back the other way with a drive-in burger and fries on the passenger seat!"

Cue, of course, hilarious laughter.

"Or tell him about the Toyota van driver you pulled over for speeding and being without van insurance cover. What was his excuse, Andrew?"

"He was trying to get to the motor insurance brokers before it closed."

Cue further hilarity all round.

"And what about the van driver [she looks at me, contempt in her eyes]. The one you pulled over that Saturday night of the big football match. How much was he over the speed limit?"

"110 in a 70 zone."

"And what his excuse?"

"He was trying to get away from the police."

"Ha! Van drivers."

I know that, in my mother's eyes, I'll never compare to my brother. Forget the charity work I do. Forget my three beautiful kids. I just can't win.

The Lady in the Van

It's perfectly natural to moan and complain and to bewail our luck and circumstances. However, things are sometimes brought into perspective by having a glimpse at the lives of the truly unfortunate. It is these moments which help us remember that, compared to most, our lives are pretty good.

This most recently happened to me when I made a rare visit to the theatre to see Alan Bennett's The Lady in the Van.

Now, I'm not a natural theatregoer – not compared to my wife anyway – but seeing as it was her birthday and she's a huge Bennett fan, I thought that just this once I'd both treat her and join her.

Boy am I glad I went along. It's a beautiful and humane piece about the relationship between Bennett and a woman who one day parks her Ford van in his garden and stays there in situ for years.

The play is painful and political, while all the time being funny and personal. Although it is Bennett whose act of kindness lets the itinerant and homeless "van lady" stay in his garden, it is through the prism of the juxtaposition between his life and the van lady's that we get to see just how well the life and circumstances of Bennett, and much of Britain, compares with someone who is truly down on her luck.

For her there is no insurance or safety net. She has only her van and a few possessions. She's so poor that she actually recycles her sanitary pads, a detail which somehow manages to be simultaneously, awful, funny and touching.

The Lady in the Van: on tour in Britain now and recommended to even the unlikeliest theatre goers, such as Euro 2012 addicted transit van drivers like myself.

Are you having a bad day?

"What's the matter Dan?" my wife likes to ask me. "Dan, what's the matter?"

"Nothing," I'll reply, honestly.

"Are you sure? Is anything the matter? Have I done something wrong?"

And so the conversation will go on until I start to get agitated, often eventually exploding with, "Will you just shut up, please, and stop asking me what's the bloody matter! You're the matter, that's what, you and your bloody questions!"

I believe this is what they call a self-fulfilling prophecy. Like my kid, Dave – he used to have a teacher who told him he was a naughty boy just because he wasn't suited to sitting still all day in a tiny little classroom. Guess what? He started being naughty. Well, there's a ruddy surprise.

Speaking of self-fulfilling prophecies: you know how I'm feeling today? Aggravated, that's how.

Have you ever heard of the Emotional Response to Driving Survey? No, me neither. Not until today anyway. God knows what kind of people are behind the thing. I imagine sensitive types who can't get out without their therapist beside them in the passenger seat.

According to the survey, the white van man (van drivers), is the most annoying and aggravated on British roads.

After more than twenty years being a courteous, law-abiding and accident free motorist with a perfect van insurance claims record, you know how that makes me feel? Aggravated, seriously bleeding aggravated.

How does that feel compared to how I was feeling this morning? There is no comparison. I was happily and peaceably driving my Fiat van around the warm streets of London, now, instead of smiling, I'm scowling and cursing. How's that for emotional response?

I'm spinning around - get out of my way!

Something thoroughly terrifying happened to me on the road a week or so ago. I pride myself as being a safe driver, but now I'm not so sure.

I was driving along on my way back from a job when I took a medium-sized roundabout perhaps a little too fast.

Before I knew it my van had spun round on itself and I was left stationary on the roundabout, in shock, facing the wrong direction.

Thankfully there wasn't anyone else around so I avoided suffering a crash and losing the no-claims discount on my business van insurance, but I can tell you I felt pretty shaken nonetheless.

Carefully manoeuvring my van so that I was facing the right direction and could continue my journey, I noticed that the road I'd entered the roundabout from had a stripe of wet mud across it.

I believe that what happened is that a lorry had parked up on the grass verge, and then dragged mud out onto the road when it had left.

So, in a way my almost-accident was the lorry driver's fault – but in reality I have to take the full blame. If I'd been paying proper attention to the road ahead I would have seen the mud, or at the very least I would have reacted quickly enough to right myself before my van spun round.

From now on I'm going to make sure I'm back in the driving zone before making my way home after work!

The absence of air con

We've been having some very hot days recently, and it's because of this that I noticed my van's air conditioning wasn't working!

The first hot day was hell I can tell you.

I take good care of my van and I check under the bonnet and all four tyres at least once a week because I rely so heavily on everything being in working order.

Unfortunately I overlooked the air con – and basically melted to the driver's seat because of my foolishness.

Thankfully I got it fixed the very next baking hot day, and then I was back in business again.

You might wonder why I didn't just open the windows and leave it at that. We'll it's because as well as trying to save money on my van insurance, I also try and drive economically. Rolling down the windows might be refreshing, but it creates drag when you drive and makes your motoring less economical apparently.

So there you go – I baked to save my pennies – which is just as well since I needed those pennies to fix my air con!

Hot under the collar

I love my job. Compared to most jobs, whether in shops, offices or factories, I have a huge amount of autonomy. I get to listen to my own choice of music or radio. I get to choose my lunch hour and I'm my own boss. Hey, I even get to choose the make and model of my van.

Some things, though, leave me clutching at straws when searching for a favourable comparison. Because I work on my own, I spend very little time building friendships and relationships in the workplace, and, perhaps most disappointingly, there's not much opportunity for a workplace fling.

I don't even get the consolation of seeing the new office girl bending tantalisingly over the photocopying machine.

When I recently complained of this to a mate of mine who works in a telemarketing office, I told him that this scope for workplace shenanigans was the only thing I envied about his job.

"It's all a myth," he told me. "Colleagues don't fancy each other, there's too much familiarity. Any entanglements always end in embarrassment."

So imagine my delight when I learned recently of how one steamy office affair was quite literally laid bare to all and sundry when a couple of copulating colleagues went at it, hammer and tongs, right in front of the uncurtained office window.

"She was really good looking. She walked into the office and started stripping off," said one lucky observer.

"…It lasted about twenty minutes.

"They didn't care that everyone in my building was staring at them."

Cor blimey! And the whole episode was filmed too! I've even had a watch of it (purely academic interests, of course).

You know what, I think I might give up van driving job and forsake my yearly comparison of van insurance in order to get an office job. No wonder my friend told me these affairs are all a myth. He's just trying to keep the fun to himself!